Crossing the Bar…

I got news yesterday that my friend and former colleague succumbed to cancer.  She was only 59.…a number very close to my heart.   I can still hear her laughter….a finer legacy I could not hope to leave.

As a result, my senses feel heightened today.  Life is more clearly in focus…I feel more attuned to sights, smells, the sense of joy and beauty around me, almost like time has been suspended.  It was a perfect day, almost as if it were being orchestrated by non-physical energy, celebrating the return of one of their own.

It was a day for basking.    A day of consideration and contemplation.  A day of conscious living, savoring each moment.   How would each of those five senses look, taste, smell if I were sensing them for the last time?

The sight of the frilly sunbrellas, their edges ruffling in the sea breeze, with the frilly clouds overhead to match, followed by tempestuous clouds forming all around me, then moving out to sea as if not wanting to dampen my spirits.

The feel of the frothy seafoam on my face and through my hair as I duck below the cresting waves, coming up as the wave has moved over my head, leaving behind an effervescence of tiny soft bubbles dissipating on my skin.

The constant warming and cooling of my skin as the sun and the sea breeze struggle in their attempt at domination.

The taste of the tiny lavender buds baked into my Lavender Honey Scone, chased down by a perfectly blended, sun-warmed Latte.

The smell of my favorite suntan cream, clean, fresh, and evoking memories from beach days spent in far away places.

The mournful cry of the “laughing gulls” as they hover overhead hoping for a hand out, their squawk soon drowned out by the roar of the incoming waves.

And at the end of the day?  A celebratory toast to the memory of my colleague as she “crosses the bar.”

I can hear the laughter from here…

Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me! And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam, When that which drew from out the boundless deep Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell, And after that the dark! And may there be no sadness of farewell, When I embark;

For though from out our bourne of Time and Place The flood may bear me far, I hope to see my Pilot face to face When I have crossed the bar.

– Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1889

6 thoughts on “Crossing the Bar…

    • Hi, Gerald. I am very sorry about your loss. WAY too young to lose a loved one! Makes us all see we must gather those rosebuds while we can, right?

      Thanks for reading the blog, and for leaving the nice comment in remembrance of your wife…Suzanne

  1. No disrespect for your friend but certainly a reminder to enjoy life while you can. Kudos to you for going through this exercise in honor of your friend!

    However, as victim of one of your earlier articles, , I can relate my near-death experience as only consisting of the thoughts “holy s*** I’m gonna f***** die!” So be sure to do all of your celebrating while you can because that beautiful goodbye and reliving your life’s greatest moments as you pass, well hey, it’s just not happenin’!

    • As a loving sister, I should say, “Oh, but I would not have let you die!!” when in fact I was down in the bar jamming with “Los Treces Guitarmen” as your “greatest moments” should have been passing before your eyes! LOL! (SORRY!)

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